Coming out for the first time was one of the scariest, most difficult and most memorable moments of my entire life. I still think back to how that one moment and those few words changed my life. I knew for awhile that I was gay before I came out, but it never hit me how things would change. It never hit me how I would have to come out to almost every person I came close to. When you come out for the first time you think “whewww.. it’s over”, but it’s never over. It gets easier because you get more comfortable with your sexuality, but you will – for the rest of your life – have to come out to anyone you get close to. I still wonder how people will react when I tell them. I’ve written in past posts about how I’m lucky I have never personally experienced hate, but it still worries me. Because everyone eventually experiences it. Some people experience it from their families, friends and even coworkers.
It deeply saddens me how often people choose to judge others based on how they live their life when the truth is that what other people do has no affect on you. I like this metaphor, “What you eat won’t make me fat.” Homosexuality isn’t a disease or an infection and it doesn’t cause lack of ambition. Being gay is a predisposition (my opinion). Why would I choose to be gay and make my life more difficult? Homesexuality isn’t contagious. I hate when people tell other people they can’t be around their kids because they don’t want it catching. Hello! If it was catching we wouldn’t want to be around your kids! You think that we want to make life harder for other people. I love my life and I am secure/happy with my sexuality, but I wouldn’t wish being gay upon anyone because of how harsh and cruel society can be. I wouldn’t want someone to experience the hate that I’ve seen and heard about. I wouldn’t want someone to be afraid to be who they are. Life is so short. Why do we spend the time we have judging other people?
I’m encountering a situation right now, at my new job, where as usual people assume I’m straight. I’ve been worried about correcting them honestly. I like to keep my personal life private because my work is important to me. I don’t want a view of my personal life to change how my performance is viewed. My work should speak for itself without any other governing factors. After 7 years of being out, you would think I would be more comfortable. I come out all the time right? It does get easier with every person, but every situation is different. There will always be people who don’t accept you. Just don’t get bogged down in the negative. Ultimately you have to live with you and your happiness is the priority. Take every situation as it comes and decide whether to tell people accordingly. I still have to decide whether to correct my coworkers. My manager asked me if I wanted a new hobby “to meet men.” I had to keep myself from busting out laughing. Hey, at least their misconception about my sexuality brings me some laughs. Remember the positive always :)
Feel free to share your advice or stories about coming out in the comments.