I used to view sexuality as black and white. There was no gray area for me – a feeling that isn’t unusual for other people as well. I never understood bisexuality even though I am gay. I always thought why can’t they choose? It was easy for me when I figured it out, but it’s not always so simple. I was like a lot of lesbians who viewed bisexuality as a non-decision. People told me you don’t want to date someone who isn’t gay because they might leave you for a man. The truth is.. a lesbian could just as easily break my heart for a woman. I was closing myself off because of a fear my environment had conditioned me to have. I’m gay and I even admit to being closed-minded.
The reality is sexuality is fluid. It’s a spectrum, but there are no rules. There are no rules as to where you must fall to be gay or straight. You write your own rules. It’s your choice whether you do or don’t label yourself. You are the one living your own life, so don’t let anyone else convince you that you have to choose a side or be someone society feels like you should be. Labels are a convention to make society feel more comfortable because we all know people love boxes.
We put limitations on our thoughts and feelings because of fear. Fear tends to hinder us from living fulfilling lives and taking risks. It limits our acceptance of other people and ideas. Fear is what makes us overthink and makes us less accepting. Most people don’t want to be open minded to things they don’t know. That’s why we’ve had this struggle with equality. I know I have had my own personal struggles understanding other sexualities. It’s natural, but it is not something we can’t change. You have to keep your mind open to other points-of-view and to understand things that are foreign to you. That’s how I’ve been able to expand my mind.
I think love is hard enough without putting labels on people and trying to explain your feelings. If you are able to feel a connection with someone regardless of their gender, more power to you. I wish I could look past the gender and fall for the person. I think the people who are able to open their minds to something they never thought was a possibility are brave. In a time where human rights is such a hot topic, we all need to start working towards listening and understanding things that are different to us. There is no shame in acceptance. There is only shame in judgment towards something you know nothing about or haven’t tried to understand.
We are constantly fighting for people to be more kind to one another. Why should I or anyone else judge someone based on who they love? Life is short and if you are able to find someone special that is of the same sex or the opposite sex, you are pretty damn lucky. Happiness is everyone’s ultimate goal. Who cares the gender of the partner that brings you that happiness. Leave yourself open to something new and different. Love is so much better than fear.